When one mate discovers his or her mate checking out pornography in secret on the Internet, on a video or in a magazine, he or she can suffer a range of emotions. The full spectrum of feelings can be experienced, from indifference to insecurity, curiosity to remorse, from withdrawal to rage. Pornography, gay and straight XXX images are seen and perceived differently by individuals of the both sexes.

To cut to the meat of the matter, it's about YOUR motive and THEIR perception. It's time to tackle both.

For those who feel pornography is insulting and degrading, you need to respect the person you love and hopefully you will know this up front. Honesty is the best answer when it comes to something like porn, to those who view XXX images in way a negative manner. You need to be upfront about what it is you like about porn, that yes you do check it out on line (having www.RADVideo.com listed under your Favorites tab will need some explaining!), and make sure you let him or her know if you subscribe to any. Surprises, secrets, and being uniformed scares people in relationships. Take away the "why's" and the "I don't understands" as much as possible.

For those of you who feel "what's the big deal?" when discussing pornography, remember that not everyone feels the same way. Be sensitive as with all topics if you are talking to someone you care about.

An image the normal person can't live up to. Do they know they don't need to?

Some men and women feel viewing gay or straight pornography means their spouse does not want to make love to their mate. Most men and especially women feel they cannot compete with perfect pictures and images in magazines or online. A woman may think her boy friend has no interest in her or the interest is fading. In some cases this can happen. If you notice you are loosing interest for your loved one and finding attempting to be more connected to your favorite porn star via blogs and MySpace, then you need to seek a solution for your relationship.

Pornography can add excitement to a relationship and couples can learn something new from porn online, but porn should never replace your relationship.

Attentive and caring spouses do not have to worry.

If you compliment, care and are attentive to your mate, you will not have to typically worry about how your significant other views your desire to check out porn videos or images. Bring your thoughts back to the basic understanding that if you feel valued and love there is nothing you would worry over in your relationship.

Experts tend to have different views on the impact of pornography on a relationship.

A sexual relationship can be enhanced when imagination is allowed to run free, for both straight and gay couples.

Guilt, mistrust, and anger about pornography can tear a marriage apart

Some people to withdraw from their relationships because they receive instant gratification from their fantasies, that which they cannot experience in the real world.

Pornography can decrease sexual satisfaction within a relationship because it can make it difficult for individuals to see sex as a loving form of communication.

Sexual therapists suggest that partners not try to censor one another's thoughts or to force one another to view offensive material.

Which ever side you stand on, whether you feel there is nothing wrong with porn or you feel it is a threat, respect the other person in the relationship and keep your communication open.

About the Author

Spanky is an avid writer for men and woman relationship advice. Spanky recommends for del.icio.us | Furl | Technorati | Blinklist | Reddit | Spurl | Everywhere Else